A positive end to the week

Over the past few days, I hit a bit of a wall emotionally.

It was enough to throw me into a moderate, depressive state and sap both the motivation and desire to blog anything new.

....and then if you add to that, A few mildly annoying occurances I had:
*A beyond crummy workday.
*Getting a glass chip in my car windshield afer replacing the whole thing, due to a large crack, about a year ago. Both instances were courtesy of a wayward rock sprung up from the road.
*Getting pulled over on my way to work because I hadn't yet had time to replace a burned out headlamp (which, in turn,  made me nice and LATE for work...).

Not to mention my horse time was pretty non existant....

BUT

I dug my heels in on Friday. 

I got set up with my insurance to have the glass chip fixed. I bought a bulb from Farm and Fleet and fixed my headlight (with the help of a You Tube video and an extra hand from my mom).

The only thing left to remedy was to get some horse time in....

...and as luck would have it, today was Saturday (NO work).

I spent a VERY nice (albeit a bit COLD) day with my sweet, old man, Griffin.

We had a long brush session complete with a few Raspberry/Alfalfa,  Senior Horse cookies (they are so aromatic, people can smell them a few feet away in the barn aisle). Fussy boy, connoisseur, Griffin LOVES them!

We did a hand walk out to the road, and down it a bit (grazing photos along the way below), and had ourselves a much enthusiastic, walking ride in the outdoor arena.

As usual, Griffin asked to leave the arena, but was pretty well behaved when I suggested we do some bends and gentle yields first.

The wind was whipping around like crazy, and was loud to boot....but my old man payed attention like a champ and we both gave the Tazmanian, crazy wind a proverbial middle finger.  *Big Grin*

I found myself reminiscent of where we were at this time last year. Griffin was layed up with a NASTY, stifle injury and I was resigned to cold hosing, medicating and hand walks for the next 6 months or so....

....and then to add insult to injury, he was diagnosed with Cushings Disease a few months later..

Today, I felt like I had my horse back in a matter of speaking.

I feel Thankful that all of the tears, emotional struggle, and effort (and $$$) have payed off to bring back Griffin's happiness and enthusiasm for the time we spend together.

I feel thankful to have such great barn owners in Tammy and Randy and all they have done to lend help and support at times when they were most needed.  My anxious self couldn't have held it together without them!!

Each day I have with Griffin is a gift....and while I have no expectations for what the future will bring,  I find myself hoping that Griffin has several, enjoyable, happy retirement years yet to come! ♡♡

One step in front of the other...

The photo below is probably one of the ugliest pictures I will ever share on my blog (in my opinion anyway).

I snapped the photo this morning as testimony to what I drive through each morning on my way to work.

Pitch black, darkness.....(back, country roads).

The only thing that would have made it worse was if it had been snowing....

That, of course, will be here soon.

I can hear anyone reading this asking, why? Why take such a picture??

The reason is that it really fit my mood this morning. On most mornings, I can't say it really bothers me, but when I'm having a difficult morning-- the darkness feels almost sinister..

As I mentioned in a previous post, I suffer from a moderate form of anxiety. The details and triggers involved are too personal for me to discuss on the internet (and I wouldn't really care to talk about them anyway as that would be counterproductive in my particular situation).

With that said, I decided to write this post about what it is that I do when I find myself in a black rut and need to move forward (My struggles with this usually begin in the morning when I first get out of bed).

The first thing I do is mentally break my impending day up into little, tiny chunks. I prioritize items that NEED to be accomplished and put those that don't in a seperate "folder" in my mind. Mental Imagery is a powerful tool once you've learned how to master it (and to trust it).

Next, I reset my focus on each of my "task chunks," and get them done one at a time. Again, using my well practiced, Mental Imagery,  I block out each task that I have yet to accomplish. I physically push worry aside in my brain..

Putting one step in front of the other, I chip away at each chunk on my list. Regardless of how slow things go, I keep the focus on moving forward.

While this may seem simple to someone who is merely overwhelmed,  I can assure you that it's a different story when you are dealing with a hefty dose of anxiety and worry on top of it.

When I've manage to propel myself through a day that started out on "the wrong side of the bed," I take a few moments to allow myself to feel a sense of accomplishment (...and this is more important than it might sound).

My last step after a difficult day, is to spend some time in meditation (...and, no I don't hum, sit in strange poses, or make weird noises). Meditation,  done properly,  is all about training your body to relax and quiet your mind.  Everyone has a slight variation of different techniques that work for them as an individual.  No matter how it is approached, it WORKS WONDERS for reducing stress and anxiety.

So after a day that started out very unsteadily this morning, I am now finding myself calm and ready to face a new day tomorrow.

The BEST part is that I am planning to spend time with both of my horses AND I get to see my niece, little Fiona.

Due to the craziness of my week, I haven't had horse time since Tuesday (and that was pretty brief). Missing time with the horses does NOT help my anxiety....!

The Moral of the story??

It takes time and patience to work on anti-anxiety/stress strategies and put them into practice...but it's certainly worth it no matter how ridiculous some things might seem in the beginning (or at what level each person feels stress. Coping and calming techniques can help everyone).

Keep on "Keeping on," it DOES get better!!

Busy!

It's been crazy busy for me the past day and a half.

On one end of the spectrum, I love it because it makes the weekend come faster. On the other hand, it also makes things stressful (and tends to send my anxiety issues through the roof so-to-speak).

Today is Fiona ' s Birthday and I am just taking a few minutes away from things to just type I quick note.

I decided not to do any photos of Fiona today for the simple reason that I just wanted to spend time with her and not snap pictures....

I will, on the other, leave off with a few photos of my retired boy, Grif. I had a quick, hour and a half with him yesterday and snapped away. We groomed and hand grazed and that was all there was time for.....

So without further ado........